The Phnom Penh Post - ENGLISH: “Have no land” plus 8 more

What is strange is now I have a land title, but I have no land.

In a sign that demand for organic rice is increasing, Mekong Oryza Trading yesterday became the first private company in Cambodia to agree to export the product abroad.

Phnom Penh-based rice exporter Mekong Oryza signed the memorandum of understanding with agricultural non-profit CEDAC, which introduced the concept of organic rice farming in 2004, and became the sole exporter about five years later.

Organic rice is produced without modern synthetic pesticides and chemical fertilizers. From beginning to end, the process needs to follow a clear step by step system in order to receive certification.

While demand is on the rise, the market is still puny compared to Cambodia's staple milled rice product. On the strength of more interest in the US and EU, CEDAC estimates it will export 320 tonnes of organic rice in 2013, compared with 100 tonnes for all of last year. In the first 10 months this year, Cambodia exported nearly 300,000 tonnes of non-organic rice.

As part of the agreement, starting in early 2014, Mekong Oryza Trading will provide funding to farmers and help scout potential markets. Speaking at the signing at the Rural Development Bank in Phnom Penh, Hun Lak, managing director of Mekong Oryza Trading, said that Cambodia should capitalise while it can.

"[Producing] organic rice is our great opportunity," Lak said.

Yang Saing Koma, president of CEDAC, said there are 5,000 households applying organic rice methods on their farms.

In this week's interview, Daniel de Carteret sits down with Ulrich Zachau, the World Bank's new country director, during his first visit to Cambodia since he took the post in October. Zachau, a German national, talks about ASEAN, politics, lending and the ongoing dispute over Boeung Kak lake.

The World Bank announced recently that it was preparing a new two-year interim strategy for Cambodia. What does this mean?
We have begun a process of engagement. The next step is that we will launch consultations with all stakeholders in Cambodia – all key stakeholders – in government as well as in civil society, development, the private sector and academia. We hope this is going to start early next year, and after that we will look at what comes out of these consultations. We will incorporate them into an interim strategy note, which is a tool that the World Bank uses for engagement with countries such as Cambodia. That will be put forward to the board of executive directors for consideration in due course when it is ready.

Do you have any concerns relating to political stability, given the recent contested election? Economists and analysts have suggested that the political impasse between the ruling Cambodian People's Party and the opposition Cambodia National Rescue Party will deter investment. Do you think that will affect economic growth?
I have worked in 50 or 100 countries in the world and often this question is raised, on whether the conditions, the political development of a country, how it may affect economic performance and investors' appetite for investing, funds or resources in a country. In my experience in the world, and I think this is borne out of what I have seen so far, for investors and markets, as long as the economic conditions are right and as long as there is reasonable stability, investors stay in. What they are interested in is to earn a good return on their investments and to be able to do that with some stability and reasonable likelihood and then to be able to take their profits out. Stability is the most important thing. My full expectation is that if Cambodia is able to continue its good economic performance and maintain stability, the investors will continue coming in. Investment will continue rising.

There has been some sweeping changes announced recently, such as customs reforms, tax reforms and an announced investment law review that I understand the World Bank has been involved in. Why is this all happening now?
Cambodia is a member of ASEAN [the Association of Southeast Asian Nations]. The bigger context here is that ASEAN countries, including Cambodia, stand to benefit substantially from the continued opening up and liberalisation of trade throughout the region. Cambodia has already begun gaining from the trade reforms it has undertaken. When you compare, Cambodia's trade performance has been better than that of some other countries. That is due to significant economic growth. Exports drive the growth and growth drives the exports – it's due to that but also to good and improving trade policies. So we all know 2015 [the deadline for the ASEAN Economic Community] is little more than a year away and I think Cambodia is well advised as are other countries in preparation for 2015, to undertake trade reforms and improve trade performance so they can gain as much as possible when ASEAN integration happens.

What are risks for Cambodia in terms of the ASEAN Economic Community?
I think that with any such trade integration there are experiences with that in other such areas of the world. For example, in Central America, when they opened up to the North American markets. I am a European Union citizen, we have some experiences in the European Union on the impact of trade liberalisation on countries as they integrate further, first as the European Union at core and then when countries that were formally members of eastern and central Europe joined. So the international experience on these questions is that the opportunities outweigh the risks. For countries that have open trade policies and developed like Cambodia has, particular exports sell, and are very successful. You know about the rice story of Cambodia, it's really remarkable how well Cambodia's rice industry has been doing compared to its immediate neighbouring countries. The important thing is that not everybody will benefit equally. So the open industries that are associated with the trade themselves and people employed in those industries, they stand to gain.

What are some of the immediate challenges for Cambodia?
The key challenges that we see are very similar in the short, in the medium and in the long term. They have to do with some of the fundamental challenges of a low-income country as its income rises and it aspires to move from low-income status and low-middle-income status and beyond. They have to attract productive investment, improve labour productivity, improve education and skill sets.

The World Bank put a freeze on loans in 2011 in response to forced evictions at Boeung Kak lake. Disputes are still occurring today. Could the interim strategy provide for a return to lending?
The stakeholders have begun expressing their thoughts and perspectives on this, but we are in the process of engagement with Cambodia. For 18 months, we are in this process.

Have you met with those affected at the Boeung Kak lake?
In a previous visit to Cambodia in my capacity as director for strategy and operations for the region as a whole, I have met the people that have actually been affected by it. I have met with them personally, I have met with their representatives, I have met with NGOs, civil society, domestic Cambodian ones as well as internationals ones, and clearly they are an important stakeholder group with whom we will continue talking and consulting.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

India's Ramkumar Ramanathan and Karunuday Singh won their quarter-final matches in straight sets to make the last four of the Cambodian $10,000 ITF Futures for the GLF Tep Khunnah Trophy at the National Training Center.

The spotlight was clearly on last week's GLF Cham Prasidh Cup winner Ramkumar when he got down to fight second seeded German Robin Kern on Court 1. What transpired for close to two hours was a high intensity contest, peppered as it was with some hard serves at both ends.

For the record, Ramkumar won 7-6, 6-4 but the storyline could have been so different if only the German hadn't misjudged a high return from Ramkumar in the first set tie-break.

Facing a set point at 6-7, Kern forced a hurried baseline return from Ramkumar. Having moved up to the middle of the court, Kern was well placed to put the volley away but he chose to let it pass probably thinking that the ball would go long.

But to his chagrin it landed on the line. The first set was lost and so was Kern's cause a little later.

It wasn't the best of starts when the second set opened for the Indian, who quickly dropped his serve to give his rival an early advantage. But serving at 3-2 to consolidate his gains, Kern dropped his serve and the break back by Ramkumar worked so heavily on the German's mind after he missed an easy shot that he made his racquet a mangled mess, repeatedly smashing it to the ground.

Serving at 40-30 in the third game, Kern tried a delicate drop shot but netted it, and that's precisely where the match turned Ramkumar's way. He went on to break the German and kept his own service games intact the rest of the way.

Away on Court 3, sixth seeded Karunuday Singh used his consistency as the main weapon to wear down Harry Meehan of Great Britain 6-4, 6-4. Meehan, who made the quarter-finals at the expense of his coach and third seed Josh Goodall 6-4, 4-6, 6-4 on Wednesday, had his moments but the Indian was decidedly the steadier of the two on court.

Meanwhile, top seeded Chen Ti of Taiwan was taken to three sets by Mico Santiago of the United States in the day's longest quarter-final match while fourth seeded Toshihide Matsui of Japan packed too strong a punch for young Alexander Zhurbin's comfort.

Chen had to work his way back to the match after losing the first set. Once he managed to size up Santiago midway through the second set, the top seed had come through the worst. He went on to win 4-6, 6-4, 6-1.

The fourth seeded Matsui on the other hand had the Russian left-hander Zhurbin under his command most of the way, chalking up a 6-2, 6-3 win.

Today's Matches
Semi-finals from 9.30am at the National Training Centre
Chen Ti v Karunuday Singh
Toshihide Matsui v Ramkumar Ramanathan

The Cambodian wrestling team squeezed out yet another gold at the 27th SEA Games yesterday with Dorn Sov bettering his men's under-120kg Greco silver medal by claiming victory in the freestyle heavyweight division at Yangon's National Indoor Stadium.

Team-mates Chey Chanraksmey and Kang Denpiseth managed to add bronzes in women's 51kg and men's 60kg events respectively to take the wrestling contribution to the Kingdom's cause in Myanmar to three golds medals, two silvers and three bronzes.

Meanwhile, the petanque squad stayed on track for medals from finals today with good showings in the preliminary stage yesterday at the Petanque Arena just outside of the Athletes Village in Naypyidaw.

National Olympic Committee of Cambodia President and Tourism Minister Thong Khon was at hand to see the men's doubles team of Thong Chhoeung and Sok Chan Mean thump the hosts Myanmar 13-5, do the same to Malaysia, come up a little short against Vietnam 11-13, but cap off the day with a 13-7 win over Thailand. The dynamic duo will face Laos in today's semi-final.

In the women's singles category, Un Srey Ya dominated her two ties, beating her Thai opponent 13-6 and a Myanmar rival 13-7. Semi-finals and final will be contested today.

There was little else to celebrate in the Cambodian camp as athletes failed to make their mark in events yesterday including cycling, basketball, canoeing and badminton.

The team mountain bike cross country relay, held over a 17km course around Naypyidaw's Wunna Theikdi Sports Complex, provided some harsh realities for the Kingdom's riders Nnonh Lenh, Keo Ratha, Heng Sivlang and Heng Sivguex, who were well off the pace of the six-team field. Indonesia grabbed gold with a total time of 55:48:377, while Thailand took silver and Vietnam bronze.

The basketball team, who had looked promising with an opening day win over Myanmar, suffered their third defeat on the trot against Thailand yesterday. The Thais outscored their rivals in the first three quarters, including a 24-11 blowout in the second, but even the heroics of Cambodia's Dominic Dar and his 41-point star performance was not enough to swing the tie at Naypyidaw's Zayar Thiri Indoor Stadium.

There remains an outside chance of a podium place for Cambodia in the seven-team round robin competition, but they will need to finish strongly in their remaining games against Singapore from 12:30pm today and 2011 bronze medalists Indonesia on Sunday.

Over at the Ngalike Dam, located roughly 20km north of the capital along the Yangon-Mandalay Expressway, the canoeing/kayaking classes were proving too tough for Cambodian participants.

Hun Rady came home sixth out of six in the men's individual 1,500m kayak race, which was won by Thailand's Kasemsit Borriboonwasin with Thanh Quang Nguyen of Vietnam in second and Singaporean Wei Cheng Brandon Ooi in third.

In Pheary was even more outclassed in the men's individual 500m canoeing, ending a distant sixth behind Indonesian winner Spens Stuber Mehue, runner-up Win Htike of Myanmar and Thai bronze man Rungsawan Suansan.

The badminton contingent saw their last hopes of glory smashed on the courts of Naypyidaw's Wunna Theikdi Indoor Stadium yesterday. The mixed doubles team of Leng Sopheatra and Ker Pichchhoravy were soundly beaten 21-15, 21-5 by Thai pair Puttita Supajirakul and Nipitphon Puangpuapech.

At time of press, Cambodia remained in seventh place in the medals table, with the Philippines above and Singapore below all matching each other on three golds. Hosts Myanmar kept sitting pretty on top with 20 golds, six clear of second placed Vietnam and 11 ahead of Indonesia.

ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY CHHORN NORN & CHENG SERYRITH

He is a legend of the dance music scene with more than 20 years as a top-rated DJ. She is an internationally renowned club DJ with a reputation for eclectic and adventurous sets. Together, married couple Danny, 52, and Ilona, 33, are "powerhouse" duo Mr and Mrs Rampling. In advance of their gig on Saturday night at Riverhouse, Will Jackson asked them about life and work as a married couple and what Phnom Penh can expect from them musically on their second visit to Cambodia.

How did you guys get together?
Danny: We met at a charity event that I was DJing at in East London about three years ago. The gigs just happened organically as a result of us playing a one-off gig together at a different charity event. We work well as a team.

Ilona: It took two years to have a first date – we were very busy with our respective DJ gigs around the world so it took some time before the timing was right. We married a year later. Danny proposed to me at Angkor Wat, so being here back in Cambodia has a very special meaning for us.

Why is it better to have the two of you DJing than just one?

Ilona: Well, there is more energy whipped up in the crowd. The dancefloor can get into quite a frenzy with the two of us behind the decks.

What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of working and touring together?

Danny: The advantage is we get to spend more time together as a couple. Life is to be cherished and we live each day as if our last. It's great being on the road as husband and wife – we have great synergy and are soul mates. Disadvantages? To be honest, that's very difficult to answer. I can't think of any at all.

Ilona: When you have a partner in crime travelling with you, it just makes the whole experience more exciting. When you are a team, different ideas develop further when they're bounced back and forth to reach their full potential. Making music or creating mixes in the studio really is just magic when we are both charged and inspired. Plus being in love with someone too, you just have that extra special bond and a different way of communicating with each other. Downsides I guess are, well, when touring anyway, small things like waiting for the shower.

What's the best thing about having your partner there on tour?

Danny: Well, it sure beats going back to the hotel alone. After a great party we get to go home together and travel together as a unit. Life on the road in past years was at times a tad lonely once the party was over.

Ilona: Having someone there to tell me if my outfit or hair is looking OK is pretty handy, and to help me with my bags is quite sweet too. In all seriousness though, we are very blessed to have a joint passion for music and can share these experiences together.

How do you do gigs together?

Danny: We play sometimes three or four tracks each and seldom disagree. We seem to have a psychic connection, knowing what the other one is going to play next, which helps. And we have great energy in the mix. Our taste is very parallel.

Ilona: It depends on the gig. Sometimes Danny will go on first, and other times I will start the set – this decision usually happens quite naturally. We have very similar tastes in music that complement each other very well, so we are quite happy with what the other will play. But there have been a few times – which I think is natural – where we will both want to play a new storming track, but we are usually gracious about it and take our turns with the new goods. We don't have to say much to each other to know where we want to take the music. We just read the crowd and both take off from there.

What can audiences in Phnom Penh expect from you music-wise?

Danny: A feast of electronic music and cool house grooves. It will be another fun party so do not miss out.

Ilona: I am DJing in the lounge for the first part of the evening. I'll mix it up quite a bit depending on the vibe but expect a bit of funk, electro, house, disco, possibly some upbeat lounge. Then myself and Danny will be playing back-to-back together in the main room where the sound will be big room electronic and house with quite soulful, funky and sexy sounds (and some serious bass).

What's your next move?
Danny: We are making an album. The singles are done and will be released next year, under a new name. Watch this space.

Mr and Mrs Rampling play Riverhouse (#157E2, Sisowath Quay) on Saturday night from 9pm.

During a conference in Siem Reap last weekend, an academic accused foreigners of damaging the local arts scene. His accusation caused a stir, Will Jackson finds.

A speech questioning the role of Westerners in Cambodia's contemporary art scene caused a stir at a Cambodian art history conference in Siem Reap last weekend.

US art academic Phally Chroy's talk titled "Why only non-Cambodians care about contemporary art of Cambodia" accused non-Cambodians of stymieing the development of an organic Cambodian contemporary art scene by imposing Western art practices on local artists.

Although all of the non-Cambodian curators or owners of the capital's art spaces declined to comment, other local artists called Chroy's accusations "baseless".

The animated presentation, at the fourth annual Siem Reap Conference on Special Topics in Khmer Studies, stood in marked difference to the rest of the three-day conference which was made up of topics on the theme of "Divergent Approaches to Cambodian Visual Cultures".

The conference – which included experts in anthropology, archaeology, art history, cultural studies, history, philosophy and religious studies, with the requirement being that submissions relateed specifically to Cambodian visual culture – was carried out in Khmer and English with interpretation provided for both.

Chroy, who was born to Cambodian parents in a refugee camp in Thailand before growing up in the US, is a frequent visitor to Cambodia and is doing his multidisciplinary arts PhD thesis on Cambodian art at Ohio University.

In an interview this week he said that Western art practices that influenced Cambodia's current art movements were incompatible with traditional Khmer art.

"Art in Cambodia traditionally is a utility," he said. "It's ritualistic and serves different functions in Cambodian society. People pay artists to come play at weddings because it's tradition. People have dancers at blessings because it's a part of their spirituality. There's no spirituality in [Western art] ... it's only conceptual."

He said Cambodians did not really care about displaying work in galleries.

"[Contemporary art in Cambodia] is only the concern of non-Cambodians," he said.

"Cambodians don't care about contemporary art unless they get pulled in and they're somehow getting something out of it, whether it's the chance to travel abroad or to make some money."

He also claimed non-Cambodian art gallery owners and curators were exploiting local artists to benefit their finances and their egos.

"You have individuals who want to dictate what art is and do things here and all of a sudden you get an art economy of sorts – higher education, curative practitioners and the museums," he said.

"And in Cambodia these people become associated with each other and fight with each other and in the end it's not for the greater good, it's not for art, it's for their own good."

He called on members of the arts community who took offence to his views to stop being "so serious" and said if he upset people it must be because there was some truth to what he was saying.

However, Amrita Performing Arts director Kang Rithisal said he found Chroy's arguments and conclusions "baseless".

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Rithisal said Cambodian art had always been influenced by the economic, social and political conditions at the time and the current contemporary art scene was no different.

He used the example of classical Cambodian dance, which was believed to have been created in the seventh century when the king at the time was pronounced "devaraja" or god king.

"Classical dance was used to perform, the dancer was used to relay messages between the earth and heaven, from the human being to God," he said. "So at the time what we call classical dance now was a new creation in response to the political situation at the time."

Amrita's dancers and choreographers were trained in classical techniques and incorporated foreign influences along with their own experiences to create new art in the same way that artists had throughout Cambodia's history, he said.

He said the methodology Chroy had used was flawed because he had not interviewed enough contemporary artists.

He added that the idea that Cambodian contemporary artists chose their form for the money was wrong because they could make more by doing classical music or dance at weddings and functions.

Prominent Cambodian art critic, curator and artist Yean Reaksmey also disagreed with Chroy's conclusions.

Reaksmey said it was futile to talk about authentic Cambodian art because nothing was truly authentic in contemporary Cambodian culture.

"If you look back to the history in Cambodia, we've been influenced many times by different cultures from before the Angkorian times; by India, later on by China, and the French," he said.

He echoed Rithisal's sentiment that Chroy needed to spend more time talking to local artists.

Chroy made "huge assumptions" about Cambodian contemporary art and "victimised" local artists, he said.

He said it was true that in the wake of the civil war Cambodia had come under the influence of external actors but that did not mean that Cambodians did not have their own ideas about what their art should be.

"Of course we have the influence from outside people, but the result is still Cambodian art," he said.

He added: "If you look at the artwork of the Cambodian artists, it doesn't respond only to please to the curator or the owner of the gallery. They do it because they want to express themselves, they do their own research, it's their personal process."

However, he liked the fact that Chroy had provoked people to think about the issues involved.

Conference co-convenor Martin Polkinghorne declined to discuss the fallout from Chroy's presentation.

"The conference included 35 speakers and over 150 participants from all over the globe including Australia, Japan, Tawain, India, the United States, the United Kingdom, New Zealand, and France. Most attendees were Cambodian students and scholars," Polkinghorne said.

"New and exciting research was presented on diverse areas of Cambodia's art history only partially researched, for example the Middle, Colonial and Modern periods.

"Contemporary art was given special attention with a specific session that included some of Cambodian art's leading thinkers, curators and artists.

"The conference was open to all people from all disciplines that relate to visual cultures.

"[Chroy] applied to speak at the conference and I think the nature of academia is that we discuss things and argue and so if we can make more discussion then that's a good thing."

After reading about Suan Mokkh Meditation Retreat in Thailand's Surat Thani province, founded by the monk Buddhadasa Bhikkhu, Nathan Thompson decided to sign up. At the retreat he found uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, basic cuisine and eccentric monks. But he also managed to discover a feeling of peace. Here, he writes about his experience.

I can't say I'd ever heard of wooden pillows before my first night in the Suan Mokkh Meditation Retreat. They are desperately uncomfortable: a smooth brick-sized block of wood with a concave shape cut out for the head to rest upon. I decided to give it a miss. Judging by the soft airplane pillow I found after rummaging around the storeroom, others, all staying in a eight-by-six-foot room, had the same idea.

I had discovered Suan Mokkh a month earlier when reading up on Theravada Buddhism. The monastery, located in a forest in southern Thailand's Surat Thani province, was founded by a monk called Buddhadasa Bhikkhu who had turned his back on monastic life in Bangkok. He spent his life trying to find out what the original Buddha actually taught and today his collected lectures make up the biggest corpus of thought produced by a Theravada thinker in 2,300 years of the tradition.

As an aside, the book mentioned how Buddhadasa had started an international meditation centre where he offered courses in Buddhist meditation in English. I dog-eared the page, came back to it later and searched for the name online to find that, though Buddhadasa died in 1993, his international meditation centre was still open. I signed up.

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The price for 10 days at Suan Mokkh is $64, excellent value when you consider that in the UK you can expect to pay $400 to $1,000 for similar retreats. You can't book in advance - instead, you have to register in person the day before the retreat begins. In order to ensure my place, I arrived a day early.

In total, 80 people began the retreat, but only 50 would complete the full 10 days due to the tough schedule that began before dawn, ended at 9pm and featured up to 11 hours of meditation per day – and absolute silence.

It wasn't easy. Every day, the bell rang at 4am and resounded for 15 minutes. On the first day, I sat in the dharma hall in the pre-dawn darkness full of resentment. There was a reading about being gentle with yourself. Good advice: beginning to meditate is like trying to turn around an ocean liner using a wooden paddle. It's easy to get frustrated and make it harder.

All the subsequent meditation and teaching took place in the dharma hall – "dharma" translating to "teachings of the Buddha". There were talks by an English monk, who was bald and didn't seem to be enjoying the retreat that much, every afternoon saying without enthusiasm: "We're here to talk about meditation – so I suppose I'll talk to you about that." He later divulged how he likes to poke a finger in between his toes, collect a small paste of toe jam and smell it, which he demonstrated, much to the chagrin of the audience. Enlightenment comes in unexpected forms.

Later in the afternoon, we would have a session in what is known as metta meditation. Metta involves cultivating a feeling of loving kindness and radiating it around you so that it reaches others – slightly New Age. The young monk from Eastern Europe who led the sessions seemed happier than his toe-jam-smelling friend. Another participant later told me they wouldn't have made it through the retreat without metta.

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When it comes to meditation retreats, pain is a challenge: sitting cross-legged for so many hours soon takes its toll. According to the English monk, if you meditate deeply enough, you feel no pain. In my experience, it never disappeared completely, but the way my mind reacted to it changed. Instead of experiencing the sensation as pain, I experienced it as an intense tingle – no worse than feeling the hot sun on your arm as it rests on the window ledge of a car.

The other discipline is suppressing hunger. Although the only meal we skipped was dinner, the others were plain: a breakfast of tasteless rice porridge, and more rice for lunch. On some days they served fried Indian bhajis; holding back from gorging on them was a lesson in self-discipline.

Still, I dragged myself to yoga at 5:15am each morning on an empty stomach. The idea is that pranayama – a way of breathing which, in Indian mysticism, is thought to cultivate the concept of "life energy" – will feed your body. Scientifically, this seemed pretty woolly: mostly I just felt hungry.

Every evening we were allowed a cup or two of chocolate soya milk. It was a delicious prelude to soaking my aching limbs in the centre's hot spring. While in the hot mineral water, I spotted the planet Venus: a bright pinprick in the purple darkening sky.

It's funny what crosses your mind when it's told to empty itself. Forgotten memories, songs, old girlfriends and plans for the future came to mine. The Bare Necessities from Jungle Book looped around my head for two days, perhaps because the style of meditation taught at Suan Mokkh is named Annapanasatti and is pronounced to rhyme with Bare Necessities. After all, the philosophies of meditation and Baloo the Bear are not too dissimilar: "the bare necessities of life will come to you".

It wasn't until day eight that I came close to anything beyond boredom. Known as the "great silence day", participants can only eat breakfast, and all dharma talks and other activities are suspended in favour of continuous meditation. After four hours of alternating between sitting and walking meditation I found myself in what is best described as a feeling of peace. Buddhists call this Anatta or 'non-self'.

After a few minutes I found myself back to normal. As the English monk said, "awakening happens incrementally, the first stages are like a door opening and then slamming in your face again".

When the 10th day came, it was time to clean out our cells and chat to our neighbours. Cordiality had established itself among us even though we hadn't spoken and we asked each other what we would take away from the retreat.

It was the English monk, whose irreverent humour grew on me, who seemed to have come closest to enlightenment. His knowledge of meditation and Buddhist teaching was impressive and he had an endearing habit of referring to Buddhadasa as "that old, extremely fat man". He told us that he will stay at Suan Mokh until he dies. "I'm rather looking forward to death," he said.

After the retreat, I thought of an article by a palliative care nurse in which she listed the top five regrets of people on their deathbeds.

I wish I would had the courage to live a life true to myself. I wish I hadn't work so hard. I wish I had had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

One of the happier effects of meditation is simply having the time to think these thoughts before it's too late.

Luke and Lorelie Young's families both moved to Cambodia – separately – when they were five years old in 1992, just before the arrival of UNTAC. Luke initially lived with his parents in a multi-denominational aid and development "commune" in Phnom Penh while Lorelie's parents came as Assemblies of God missionaries to run an orphanage in Sihanoukville. The couple, both now 27, say their shared experiences growing up during this wild and often dangerous time – listening to gunfire at bedtime, encountering rogue Khmer Rouge soldiers, eating UN rations, avoiding land mines – made it impossible for them to be with anyone else and inevitable they would end up together. Will Jackson heard their stories.

LUKE

Back in '92 the foreign community was so small, and there were so few kids, my parents made sure I spent time with them. Loralie has an older brother, so he and I were childhood friends. That's how I met her. I just remember her as a little girl – my friend's sister, I guess, who always wore pretty dresses. It wasn't love at first sight or anything. Not at all.

I travelled the country quite a bit – my dad spent a lot of time in the countryside. Once I remember really clearly, I was in the back of this truck my dad was driving full of Cambodian people. I think we were going to Kampot. We were going down the highway and a Khmer Rouge soldier was in the middle of the road. He was really drunk, with another soldier on the side of the road who had a rocket-propelled grenade on his shoulder, and was yelling and demanding money from my dad. When the soldier turned away, my dad floored the accelerator and we went flying down the road. He said the whole time he was hoping that the man with the RPG decided not to shoot at us, not to waste a round.

My family moved back to the US in '95 until just before the coup of '97. I didn't see Loralie again, probably until I was a teenager. I think when we were 15 or 16, Loralie and I had become friends again. I went to the UK for a summer working with juvenile delinquents and when I came back, I think I was 17, there was just that spark [when we met], like, "wow, this person's really interesting". But one of my best friends was going to ask her out on a date because he felt bad for her. He didn't like her in that sense at all. And I said no, I'm going to do it first. And that's how it started.

We got married in Kirirom National Park in 2006. We found a very beautiful bamboo grove and I filled it full of orchid flowers.

Our shared history goes quite deep. We remember odd things that were part of both of our lives as kids that we didn't necessarily share together, but we had them as our own experiences. You know, like eating UN MREs (Meals Ready to Eat) which they gave us when the UN left Cambodia. We remember on trips down to Sihanoukville, stopping on the side of the road to go to the bathroom and then the next time we would make that trip we'd see all these "danger land mine" signs at the same spot. And so these memories that we share together are not necessarily us doing them together but they create a deep connection.

LORELIE

I don't remember the exact time I met Luke. If we would go back to Phnom Penh we would see as many people with kids as possible and if they came to Sihanoukville we would let them stay with us because there weren't that many hotels back then.

So we met them at some point there.

The Khmer Rouge were a big part of life. When we would go back and forth between Sihanoukville and Phnom Penh, we actually had to have police escorts because of the Khmer Rouge, especially during a really bad time. We have a picture of my brother standing in front of a temple at Angkor Wat holding an AK-47 when he was eight. A Khmer Rouge soldier there thought it would be funny for the little white boy to hold the AK-47 and pose for a photo.

We went back to the US when I was about 10 for a year. It was really weird and hard to adjust. So much of what is indoctrinated into children, you don't even realise. Like fashion sense. My favourite outfit was a pair of green stirrup pants and a green turtle neck and the greens didn't match. So it was really hard to fit in and care about things the kids there cared about.

After we came back from the States we were in Phnom Penh instead of Sihanoukville. That's when we started to hang out with Luke a lot more. But I was still the irritating little sister who wanted to play too.

One day I was complaining to our friend Joey that no one had ever asked me out on a date. Just having a moment. I didn't have any close girlfriends so Joey got my rant. And what does Joey do? "Oh, I'd better ask her out." Like a sympathy date. But he happened to tell Luke beforehand and Luke took the opportunity.

We got married when we had just turned 19. I can't imagine marrying a normal American guy. Or someone from anywhere else really. The culture is so different. So I feel so lucky to have found someone who grew up in the same situation as me, during the same time, with lots of the same experiences. Different but the same. I feel really lucky that we like each other.